Two days ago, I was in kind of a dark place. In the middle of one of several meltdowns, a dear friend of mine called to check in and suggested I go outside, take a walk, soak up some of the gorgeous december sunshine. And so I did.
On my way back, I happened to walk behind two little girls who seemingly just came from school… maybe second grade, maybe third. They were talking about dying. I don’t know what had initiated their conversation, but it doesn’t really matter. What did matter though (for me at least) is how in the way they were talking about the subject of dying they were perfectlyimpersonating the concepts of „acceptance“ and „refusal (aka DRAMA)“:
The girl on the right was in tears, repeating „I don’t understand, why, why does everyone have to die some day…“ while her friend to her left was totally chill and calmly (and, regarding her friend’s emotional state, maybe a little too nonchalantly) explained that „well, we will all die. You will die. I will die. Your mother will die (ouch!). Your grandparents will die. Everyone must die at some point. That’s just the way it is“.
If it weren’t for the fact that it was all kind of heartbreaking (I can’t stand seeing other people in any kind of pain and I really felt the crying girl’s despair), it could almost have been a funny scene. Because, like I said – they were the impersonations of acceptance and drama.
And somehow, this encounter felt like it was a bit more than just a coincidence. Because earlier that day, I had begun to write a blog post about acceptance. Which goes like this:
accept where you are
accept that maybe your masterplan just went out the window and now you’re back to square one. you don’t have to frantically look for something positive in this situation. yes, maybe get to start over, dream a new dream, all that positivity bullsh** advice. we’ve all heard it. that’s not the point. it is what it is, and it might suck. accept that it sucks.
accept that maybe right now you’re lonely, lost, confused.
accept that maybe you totally suck at one or some of the things that fascinate you most. (maybe you’re fascinated by them BECAUSE you suck at them, but that’s a different topic I guess.)
accept that some issues and (thought) patterns will always try to find a way back into your life, and they will sneak up on you when you least expect it, no matter how much you have been working on yourself, how often you meditate, how much you think you have it „under control“.
accept that some people may decide to leave your life (and let that be a reason to be even more grateful for the ones who stay!)
accept your limitations. there are things that just won’t happen or go away or work out within what you would consider a reasonable amount of time. some things take time. some things take forever. or longer.
accept, and breathe.
… but don’t let it hold you back.