The back story
Have you ever felt stuck? Like, completely, totally stuck?
As in „I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life, it all feels wrong, I don’t know what to do or where to go next“?
That’s exactly where I am right now. And I had really hoped that this would NOT happen again.
Two years ago, after a session with a super inspiring career coach, I thought I had finally figured it all out. But the truth is: Even though I still think I’m kind of going in the right direction, my specific goal or purpose or career path in this field feels more unclear to me than ever. Plus I’m seriously doubting I will EVER be able to learn the abilities required for this new field. Because a part of me believes they are talents that you either have, or you don’t. And if you don’t you can try as hard as you want to, you will never be able to go beyond a certain level.
Additionally, with depression, you never know if you really dislike something or if you just don’t want to do it anymore because you’re depressed! Depression will not allow you to feel joy in anything you do, so unless you’re not absolutely sure that you are mentally stable, or even if you feel stable most of the time but still suffer from temporary imbalances, you just don’t know if something really feels off or if it’s just chemicals in your brain that confuse everything.
And then there’s a second factor that definitely plays a role in my confusion:
How do you find out who YOU really are, and how do you identify YOUR own superpowers when for more than half of your time on earth the central point of orientation in your life wasn’t you yourself but another person (or several of them) and their skills and personality?
Were these „magic people“, as a friend of mine calls them, guides that were supposed to, well, guide me towards important steps in my life, or did they make me confuse what I want with what I admire in them? Or are the two the same? Have I met them, and do or did I admire their specific set of skills because I’m supposed to learn them for myself, or is it the combination of the personality and the skills that captured me and that somehow match a desire I have? Have I met them because seeing things in others first was necessary to discover things for myself, or has this way of focusing on other people made sure I never even began to listen to what my inner voices wanted me to do in the first place?
Maybe it’s all the same. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Or maybe it’s all just coincidence.
Anyway. That is a topic all of its own, one that I might write about in the future.
The bottom line is this: I wish I could find a way to figure it out by „thinking it through“, but that never worked. Countless sleepless nights are proof of that. To quote a healer I worked with for almost two years: „You won’t find the solution in your head“. I have a feeling that she was right.
So what CAN I do? The only answer I can think of? Create space, as much as you can, so that there is actually space for new things, new people, new inspiration… to come into my life.
In comes the decluttering masterplan.
Decluttering creates space for new things to show up, for energy to flow. It starts with your apartment and spreads to your mind. Because right now most of my place definitely doesn’t look as organized and sophisticated as my clothes rack in the header.
And I will try to declutter absolutely EVERYTHING! Every corner of my apartment, the data on all digital devices, friend/contact lists.
I will loosely be following two guidelines/principles:
On the one hand, I will follow the advice in Marie Kondo’s book „Magic Cleaning“ (title of the English version: „The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up“).
Marie Kondo has one basic principle: If an item gives you joy, if it makes you feel good in some way, keep it. If it doesn’t, it has to go. She advises her readers to go through their stuff based on categories: all of your clothing in one session, then all of your books, all of your paperwork… no matter which room the stuff that belongs to every category is kept in.
On the other hand, I will also take Tamara Star’s approach to heart:
As she describes in her article The Urge to Purge. Feng Shui Advice, Tamara suggests to tackle one room at a time. The only kind of overarching category she has is „gifts & sentimental items“.
I will pick what works best for me from both methods and post updates and possibly some more „how to/tipps and tricks“ as soon as I feel like there are results worth showing!
As for the timing, I’m going to quote my favorite author, Danielle LaPorte: „September is the new January“. So in order to be able to start fresh in September I hope I can manage to get most of the decluttering done during the remaining weeks of summer.
Who else feels like they could use some more space in their life? Anyone feel like joining me?