„Not my circus, not my monkeys“
– an old polish proverb that basically means „not my problem“ / „fuck that shit“
I’m repeating this saying like a mantra these days, trying to internalize the message.
There may be things about you and/or your behaviour that triggers something in another person. and while it’s sometimes useful to question your own behaviour and work on yourself etc, most of the time, the triggering has nothing to do with you – it’s the other person’s problem, something that has to do with their personal history, their own story, their traumatic experiences. How they react to these triggers and however crappy or unfairly they may treat you as a result is also their problem. If you allow them to hurt you by letting them treat you the way they do, that is up to you. You get to decide whether you are letting them get to you, whether you let someone else define your worth… or not.
(Implementing your decision? Well. That’s a whole different story.)