It’s SO easy to succumb to the darkness. To find something to ramble about. To worry about. To complain about. It’s easy, but it will not make you feel good.
I fall into that trap, again and again, and I have to remind myself, again and again, that nothing good will come from that state of mind. It sure is neccesary to pay a visit to the dark side every now and then because if you don’t face your demons, they will only grow stronger, just… don’t stay longer than you need to. Instead, always return to focussing on the light!
Because wonderful things happen when you manage to change your perception and look at the good things.
There might be people in your life who give you a lot to think about, and sometimes not in a very inspiring way, people who trigger your insecurities like nobody else does, people who are even able to make you feel unworthy and unlovable and on the outside. At the same time, they might be the exact same people who sometimes shower you with the kind of warmth that is exactly what you are so desperately craving, who get you and your demons and who are there for you when you least expect it. When it comes to relationships – friendships, romance, family – I think there is no such thing as perfect. You will always have to find a way to balance certain things, and you will probably always be challenged to decide if you focus on the good or the bad. And if you concentrate on the bad stuff, you might miss out on some of the most inspiring moments of your life. So choose wisely.
Relationships, especially in terms of finding that one person you want to spend your life with, is a very tricky topic for me. Because, well… it just hasn’t happened yet, and somehow I feel like it’s not gonna happen anytime soon, and when I start worrying about that for too long things can become very dark very soon. There is a desperate kind of loneliness inside of me that I wouldn’t want to wish on anybody else, and it’s easy to just give in to the sadness and the loneliness, especially when almost everyone in your extended family and among your friends is in a relationship.
A couple of weeks ago though, I decided to do something about it (in a way that could not be any farther from online dating apps and all these things): In 2016, I’m gonna get a dog. I’ve always wanted one anyway and right now I’m at a point in my life where things are enough in order to make it a real possibility. And this plan actually makes me feel so much lighter, so much happier about the months and years to come than anything else has in a very long time.
And when I began to share this idea with the people around me it turned out that my sister knows a lovely person who just recently made a shift in her career to become a dog trainer, and my brother’s girlfriend knows a dog shelter in Spain with lots and lots of puppies that desperately need someone to adopt them (it’s always been a no-brainer that I would get a shelter dog anyway). My friends and family share my joy, and that makes it even better.
Also there’s the sweet elderly lady at the bakery around the corner who always adds some baked goods for free (and it’s not because she knows me or something – I only go there maybe twice a year when I buy stuff for brunch with my girls).
Or the (actually kind of cute) barista at one particular Starbucks store who had memorized my first name by the second time I went there.
To say it in the words of Albus Dumbledore:
„Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.“
So… focus on the light. Share the light. Because life has so much to offer when you decide to look for the tiny things and moments that are, in fact, perfect.